vitamin c, please

College is the convention center for germs. Here's how it works:

Roommate gets sick.
The health center is a joke. Her visit consists of waiting two hours watching daytime soaps and synchronizing coughs with her new waiting room friends.
Therefore, roommate gives up on health center, leaving you to your only mechanism of self-defense: Purell-ing your hands more than Howie Mandel.
Outside of the dorm, a girl in your lecture class sneezes on your laptop (ew).
Water polo team (inevitably dirty), hoards the Kleenex by the exit.
Grab a bite to eat in the Caf and a congested cheerleader hands you a fork. Thanks, but no thanks.

Two days later...
Roommate back to her normal self. Bubbly, charismatic, energetic... ugh.
You? In the fetal position on your bed, popping cough drops and praying for a spontaneous visit from mom.
Germs suck. Pass me a glass of the freshly squeezed OJ, s'il vous plait.